Disorders are not always something that can be fixed.
In fact, it's rare that it can be.
I want to make this short and simple.
People who have a disorder are not worthless.
They are not failures, or ignorant of others.
They simply just have problems dealing with certain things.
I suffer from severe stress induced anxiety.
When something happens, my mind flips a switch and can sometimes triggers extreme panic attacks.
There are days I wake up and can't find much to be happy about because my anxiety has completely taken over me.
I love someone (very much, still) who suffers from Borderline Personality Disorder (or BPD).
BPD is a mental illness that centers on the inability to manage emotions effectively.
It appears in the context of relationships, whether it be every type of relationship or just a single relationship.
Basically, there are times where they can be completely fine but other times they are completely emotionless or
Over the past year, I learned a few things about this.
What it does, how it affects them and how it affected me.
I wanted to share a few things I've gained through this to maybe help others push through.
1. Don't discourage them during their tough times.
When they get into a spell, whatever it may be, their wall is up. Encourage them to talk and to let you know that it's okay to tell you what's going on. Be open minded and give them hope and confidence that they can work through it.
2. Show them you are there 100% of the time, even when they can't be.
This goes in hand with the last one. When they're in a state where they don't feel like themselves or that they don't think they can handle something, be there for them. Help them work through the rough patches and overcome harsh roads. Another big thing is to support them when they aren't having a spell. You need to be there for them just as much because knowing you're there unconditionally will help
3. Let them talk about anything and everything on their mind.
Opening up is difficult and can be intimidating. It's not easy to just say everything that's on their mind, but having that knowledge that you are there and willing to listen. If it doesn't make any sense, it's okay to ask if they're comfortable explaining it more. If they aren't then don't pressure them to. Just be the open ears and open mind for them.
4. Love them fully.
This is probably the biggest piece of advice that I can give. They're still human and they need love. It will not be easy, trust me, but it is so worth it. Good times and bad, they need to have support and love because it is not easy. They may also not be able to love fully because of their disorder and that's okay.You need to cross oceans and climb mountains for people because it's not about what you get, it's about what you give. Give them all of you and all of your love. Help them and stand by them when they need it. This is something that will help better them and better you.
5. Learn about their disorder and how it affects them and you.
Disorders affects you as well as them. Research the disorder and what its symptoms and causes are. Figure out how to talk to them and how to help them the best you can. This can be so helpful within the relationship. You may not necessarily be the one suffering, but you need to think of yourself as well. If you can't be there for yourself, you can't be there for them. It's okay to take some time for yourself and mentally prepare for what's coming up. You need to be healthy and open with yourself so you can do the same for them.
I, myself, suffer from a disorder. People have been there to support, care and love me for who I am--anxiety and all. I have also become better because of this person. They have helped me become stronger in so many different ways and that gives me the hope, faith and confidence to push through each day.
Push through the hard times and find your sunshine.
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